we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
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She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
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finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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