Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dicks are not precious.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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