I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize