Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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