All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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