True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize