When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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