is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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