I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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