There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize