xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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