And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
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She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hippo gnu deer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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