i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
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In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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