new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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