I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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