HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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