she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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