i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize