she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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