the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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