Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize