Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
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We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
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my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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