can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize