I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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