i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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