If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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