Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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