Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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