Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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