The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
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Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
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Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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