Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize