just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
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I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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