The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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