Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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