Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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