I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize