I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize