I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize