Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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