saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
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