I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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