the condom got lost in my hair
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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