Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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