I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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