I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
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I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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