WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
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Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
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Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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