we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize