i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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