she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I need to sanitize my soul.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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