i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
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This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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