Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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