just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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