wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
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Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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